I am finally sitting down to write the entry that I have been postponing for the past three months (really, has it been three?). Last year at this time, I was so excited, preparing for the great adventure ahead of me called seminary. And the year and the people and the classes lived up to every expectation and more. That first great year of transformation and learning ended on what I believed would be a high note — I closed my books and went on an amazing pilgrimage to the Holy Land (you can read about those adventures on my other blog, www.sevierlybaptist.com).
The trip was indeed everything that I had imagined and more…both positive and not so positive. Yes, I am forever changed by the things that I saw and experienced and the people I met and the chance to dialogue with people and the chance to see for myself the land of Israel. But I am also forever changed by two other events during that trip — the two times that I passed out and had a seizure.
I am daily fixated on that old, old joke told in the church world about God granting miracles. You know the one:
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religious man replies, ” no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”
Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause “God will grant him a miracle.”
With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down.” St. Peter chuckles and responds, “I don’t know what you’re complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter.”
Well, it turns out that the fainting was a rescue boat in disguise. After many visits to many doctors, it is clear that I have a congenital heart defect that had never been discovered. And in a few weeks, I’m going to have that valve repaired by a very wonderful surgeon.
Until then, I’m going to keep studying and singing, and with grace of God, I will continue those things and more after my recovery — the doctors jokingly (I think) say I may sing even louder after my heart starts to pump properly.
So, I’ll be a little quiet for a while…I will have a few things to be concerned about as I work through rehab and get back to my singing life. But if you want to keep up with what is going on, you can follow my recovery journal at: http://www.heart-valve-surgery.com/journals/user/susansevier.
And if you have a moment, please send a few prayers my way.